Quote of the Moment #8 - On Grief

Well, this is not what I had planned.

I have not posted in over a week, mostly because I haven't known what to say. I still don't, but I feel like breaking my blog silence will do me some good. My Aunt Vickie died unexpectedly in her sleep on Sunday, April 22. She was 53 and left behind three boys, Robert, Michael and John, and her husband, my Uncle Bob. I saw her the night before she died. She wasn't even sick.*

We were shocked by the call that came on Sunday afternoon. We have remained so all week, despite attending to the practical concerns related to funeral preparations. Many words could be used to describe my family's state; grief-stricken and heart-sickened come to mind. The primary word I use to describe the past week is impossible. I have not yet grasped this absurd new reality. I don't think any of us have. We are still staggered by the loss of my aunt; her death is beyond understanding. I feel sick. I am in mourning myself, and I am also devastated for my cousins and my uncle. Thank goodness for family, the ultimate solace, and the good friends who stand strong and keep you from collapsing under the weight of unanticipated grief. The pain would be overwhelming otherwise. 

My Aunt Vickie's death was so very, very different from my Grandma's death. My Grandma died less than two years ago. Near the end, she told her children she had lived a good life and was ready to go.  Her going felt right, although we were saddened when she died and miss her still. My Aunt Vickie, on the other hand, was in her prime with so much more on her agenda. This is one of those times when you scream, "Why did this happen?", "Life isn't fair!" or "This is wrong!" And you don't really come to any easy answers.

I asked my dad how you go on, as a death like my Aunt Vickie's feels like too much to process. He said prayer and time help, and that is when and where you receive comfort and peace. Each loss provides an education, although I do not wish to learn. What have you discovered about life, people and/or yourself through grieving?

Alison

*That we knew of.

Quote of the Moment, No. 7 - Creating Yourself

My friend Chalanna gave me the card above in honor of my birthday. I L.O.V.E. the sentiment and wanted to share it with you all. I am often trying to figure out, not who I am, but what I want to do with all the talents, interests and skills I possess, so this card is entirely appropriaate. Life can seem pretty well set sometimes. It can be hard to remember that all the little things we do now add up to major changes in our lives later. In two years or ten, we may create for ourselves vastly different realities than the ones we are living today. Today, instead of worrying about what we haven't yet achieved, let's consider what we are currently doing to better ourselves and our lives.

For example, I began working on a new art project (which is nearly finished!) that will hopefully epitomize one of my favorite styles in which to work; Chalanna got a new job in her field (long overdue and much deserved); my sister Lisa tried out for a set of plays taking place this summer (and the producers pronounced her vocals "beautiful"); and my friends Brooke and  D.J. started their own businesses (fine art and jewelry, respectively). Kudos to these girls for spreading authentic beauty throughout this world. I am sure a lot of you are working toward exciting goals. Tell me, what are you doing to create the newest manifestation of you.

XOXO,

Alison :)

Quote of the Moment, No. 5 - A Quick Note about Friends

I have been sick with a hellacious phlegmy cough, snotty sneeze and hoarse throat, with a fever thrown in just for fun, this weekend. It's been enough to send me crawling under the covers for escape at every possible moment. In a state of wooziness, I pulled off my jeans after I arrived home from the first day of A.C.E.D. classes (which were awesome, despite my pitiful state), leaving them and the cellphone I had tucked into my front pocket in a jumble on my bedroom floor. I quickly pulled on pajamas and spent the afternoon in a deep sleep. When I awoke several hours later, I could not find my phone. I searched for it in all the places I typically leave it. I checked once, and I checked again. No luck. I needed to leave, so I could get to my parents' house. No one can make you feel better like your mom can, but I did not want to leave my place without my phone. I requested help from a couple of friends on facebook - I said, "I can't find my phone. Please call me until I call you back." At least I hope I said please. They both called me immediately, and I found my phone in my jeans pocket shortly thereafter. Thank goodness for friends who will stop in the middle of whatever they are doing and call you when you need them to, even if you don't even plan on asking them how their day has been going. That's how friendship is - you give some and you take some and, with good friends, everything evens out in the end.

What have you done to help a friend out lately? What have your friends done for you?

Alison :)

Quote of the Moment, No. 2

A gift from my mom.

My parents always give my sister, brother and me a little New Year's gift to help us start out the new year on a positive note. This year Mom wrapped several hand-written quotes with our gifts. I liked the one above so much, I taped it to my bathroom mirror, along with several other inspiring quotes. Every time I walk into the bathroom I see a gallery of quotes curated especially to boost my mood, influence my actions, put things in perspective, and make me think. 

I am a quote hound, and I am always on the look out for good ones. I look forward to sharing old and new favorites with you on Sundays. What quotes have inspired you recently?

Cheers,

Alison :)